My letter of truth to Britney Spears…

Dear Britney,

Britney Britney Britney…You’ve been in my life for a long time. We’ve gone through many things together. First you were a guilty pleasure, I admit ok? I totally sing along to all of your songs in the car. And like every other female in the world, I was envious of how stinking hot you were. Then you cheated on Justin but that wasn’t even that bad. Granted, I probably wouldn’t have done the same thing (come on, it’s Justin Timberlake), but you were young. The quickie marriage in Vegas was easy enough to forget. Walking around barefoot in gas station bathrooms, gross but also forgetable.

Then you entered the Kevin Fedeline stages of your life. I really just kind of felt sorry for you at first but honestly I don’t think anyone believed you’d actually marry the guy, let alone bear his fruit…twice. But look on the bright side, they’re babies and they’re yours and that’s really a blessing. So finalize the divorce, get back your team of stylists and producers and everything should be money, right?

Unfortunately, I was going through the news today and found that you really weren’t doing too well. You’ve really gone too far this time. It’s way worse than showing your C U Next Tuesday to the entire world. Even driving with your baby on your lap was minor compared to this…WHY WHY WHY DID YOU SHAVE YOUR HEAD?

Sincerely,

Heather

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