Age ain’t nothing but a number

Yesterday I had pretty firmly decided to stay in California and make things work here. All day I kind of sat on it and thought about it, and it just wasn’t settling for me. I don’t know why I am so caught up on how old I am. I’m 23, is that truly that old? I do have a few friends who have graduated and are actually grown ups now doing grown up jobs, but I have so many who haven’t done anything. They haven’t even gone to college and don’t know what they want to do with their lives. I finally know what I want to do and how I want to do it but I’m 23…about 5 years too late be just starting, right? I mean the way I look at it is, I have 3 to 6 months before I can afford to move and another, once I’ve moved, before I can start school because of residency. That puts me at 25 starting school again. I want to do that internship in DisneyWorld I’m thinking I have about 3 years of school left, so I’ll be 28-29 when I graduate. It’s an awful lot but I can’t help but think it’s worth it. As much as I would like to have graduated already, I know I would be an accountant or a pharmacist if I had and I just can’t imagine living a happy life with that as my career. It’s a really complicated emotion I’m feeling about this whole situation. Maybe I’m just using my age as an excuse like I’ve been using so many other things before. This is part of that whole being brave thing I’m trying to work on.

Catching u up…

Hmmm…where to begin…

KU lost last night in the Elite 8 to UCLA. Talk about irony, eh? Former dream school vs. current dream school. Is it a sign? I’m pretty bummed, thought it was our year but oh well. Always next year!

I’ve got a crush, been acting like a stupid high schooler about it which is embarrassing…but I seriously haven’t had a crush since high school so it’s kind of nice. It’s kind of like waking up.

This whole bill thing isn’t going to well, or to put it more acurately, I haven’t been working nearly hard enough on it. At this rate, there’s no way I’ll make it to Kansas by August. If I don’t, I have no idea what I’m going to do. Guess I better get my shit together and start trying a little harder, eh?

Just another Friday…

I woke up this morning not remembering if it was Friday or Saturday. I was thinking that it must not be Friday because yesterday there was a reallly good General Hospital on and I was thinking that they would have saved that kind of cliff hanger for a Friday episode…yes I keep track of the days of the week by thinking about my soaps. So, anyway, woke up, realized it was Friday and tried to motivate myself to do my laundry because I was out of clean clothes. That took about 2 hours, during which I watch One Tree Hill…again. I did one load before going out to the garage and watching Cassie and Nick get baked, got ready for work and, well, went to work.

Broke many of my little rules today, first of which I think was sleeping til noon. I followed that up by drinking a Dr. Pepper (total count for the day = 3) and then got cut from work at 9 o’clock. Was gonna go out for dinner with the girls after they got off but they must not have gotten cut, whatever happened they didn’t call me when they got off like they said they would so no matter. I ate Taco Bell for dinner, was gonna eat Panda but waited on the girls too long and Panda closes at 10 not 10:30.

Blows my mind how early everything closes around here, even on the weekends. Guess I was just used to Lawrence, where everywhere was open to 2 or 3 in the morning…that’s the tale of the a college town I guess. Anyway, got baked in the office, ate my Taco Bell and worked on the puzzle a little bit. I was watching a Saturday Night Live rerun on E! and it was Dane Cook (who is an idiot I now believe) with James Blunt as the musical guest. Now I don’t know if it’s because I’m high or not but he sang “You’re Beautiful” and although I have hated that song since I first heard it, it was really pretty and I really liked it…had to have been because I’m high…oh well, ok day

Please! Oh, Please!

Please let me get better soon! I’m still sick. Last weekend it started with bad headaches and that weird stomach pain but all this week it has been sinuses. I’ve been coughing like crazy and my nose is running like a faucet. I have that awful kind of headache you know where every time you move your head it feels like your brain is loose and shaking around in there…it really hurts!

I want to be well again!

Something I’ve learned…

…do not read blogs of people you knew in a past life if u do not want to read something bad about yourself. I didn’t read something really bad about myself, ok it kind of was bad but anyway, I read something that just kind of set me down a notch…you know when you have those moments when you just go “Oh, really?” Anyway, I don’t really want to go into details of it because I know it shouldn’t really matter to me but it does…it’s just this damn person always makes me feel like shit about myself…I won’t mention names though.

Anyway, reading a lot lately. Finished David Copperfield…LOVED IT! I recommend it, 5 stars…Also read Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and am now reading The Virgin Suicides by the same guy…good writer. I don’t love the books but they’re interesting. I just have never loved the I don’t even know what genre they would classify under…dark comedy? I don’t the genre that I can get through well enough but you know I just don’t love it…Anyways, also reading Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates. Having a lot of trouble just reading it straight through because it’s about Marilyn Monroe…although I don’t like describing it as that because it is above all a novel, not a biography. Anyway, I know enough about her and especially the entertaining parts that I’ve just wanted to jump past all the orphan stuff and go straight to the movies. And also, you know biggest sex symbol like ever, there’s some sex in the book but not like romance novel sex…I don’t know. I haven’t decided what I think about this book either. I’m reading all of those because of that book Cassie bought me for Christmas 1001 Books to Read Before You Die…A great Christmas present because it’s opened me up to a lot of books I probably wouldn’t have read under other circumstances.

I have a scratchy throat…I need to get sick like I need a hole in my head. Serves me right for using all my sick days in January. Also, I need to look for a second job, desperately, or the Kansas plans will have to be scrapped and I have no idea what I’ll do with my life if that doesn’t work out.

Yuck…

Why is that every morning when I wake up I feel like total crap? I have a headache. I’m congested. I’m just plain grumpy.

I’m going to take it all at a deeper meaning that I really need to get my shit in gear. Maybe since I’m up at such an ungodly hour (ie before 11 am) I should be productive…what a novel concept I know. I need to go job hunting and to weight watchers, and maybe, just maybe work out a little bit. Here’s hoping I get motivated and don’t just stay grumpy (because if I do, I’m likely to call in and play hookey from work which we all know is the last thing in the world I need to do).

As bad as it is to admit, but I’m wondering if it’s because I have been toking before bed lately…hmm…I’ll test my theory tonight, although I did fall asleep much better last night than I had been.

I DON’T KNOW!!! I think I’m going to go get a Dr. Pepper…

10 Commandments

Here are the 10 Commandments that I must follow until August 14th, the estimated date of departure to Kansas.

1. I will not skip any Weight Watchers meetings
2. I will not eat Panda Express
3. I will not drink Dr. Pepper
4. I will not call in sick
5. I will not sleep in until noon
6. I will work out daily
7. I will read daily
8. I will work a second job
9. I will keep the checking account balance positive
10. I will not doubt myself

The Oscars are here again…

Oscar day! I’m having a few girls from work over for some lasagna and balloting…I was up at 830 this morning…way too early, here’s hoping I’m not a total grump by 3 when everyone gets here…Ok here are some of my picks but honestly, I’ve barely seen any movies in the last year, so I’m just following the words of all the critics out there…

Best Picture-Little Miss Sunshine (counting on the Indy lovers from last year)
Best Actor-Forest Whitaker
Best Actress-Helen Mirren
Best Supporting Actor-Eddie Murphy
Best Supporting Actress-Jennifer Hudson
Best Director-Martin Scorsese (come on just give it to him already!!)

Ok those are the only ones that anyone really cares about…and I’m tired and don’t feel like writing anything

My letter of truth to Britney Spears…

Dear Britney,

Britney Britney Britney…You’ve been in my life for a long time. We’ve gone through many things together. First you were a guilty pleasure, I admit ok? I totally sing along to all of your songs in the car. And like every other female in the world, I was envious of how stinking hot you were. Then you cheated on Justin but that wasn’t even that bad. Granted, I probably wouldn’t have done the same thing (come on, it’s Justin Timberlake), but you were young. The quickie marriage in Vegas was easy enough to forget. Walking around barefoot in gas station bathrooms, gross but also forgetable.

Then you entered the Kevin Fedeline stages of your life. I really just kind of felt sorry for you at first but honestly I don’t think anyone believed you’d actually marry the guy, let alone bear his fruit…twice. But look on the bright side, they’re babies and they’re yours and that’s really a blessing. So finalize the divorce, get back your team of stylists and producers and everything should be money, right?

Unfortunately, I was going through the news today and found that you really weren’t doing too well. You’ve really gone too far this time. It’s way worse than showing your C U Next Tuesday to the entire world. Even driving with your baby on your lap was minor compared to this…WHY WHY WHY DID YOU SHAVE YOUR HEAD?

Sincerely,

Heather

Lunch debate…

The lead up to this conversation is that literally every day Cassie and I fight over who is going to go pick up lunch. Unfortunately, I always lose this for some odd reason, I’m really not sure why…and not only do I end up picking up lunch but I end up buying hers as well…basically I am wrapped around my baby sister’s little finger. Nice, I know…anyway, here’s the fight of today, since I happen to be on here as it’s happening…

Heather: How many times did I buy you Panda in the last 2 weeks?
Cassie: I’d say at least 2 or 3
Heather: …and how many times did I pay for it?
Cassie: This as nothing to do with Panda
Heather: Yes this is about me being Cassie’s Bitch
Cassie: You’re not my bitch
Heather: Oh really?
Cassie: Yes
Heather: How do you figure?
Cassie: Well we equal each other out…
Heather: By me always buying you lunch and you…
Cassie: I just think that what I give you is worth more than what money can buy

In case you’re wondering how this turned out…I held out until around 3:30, so for about an hour and a half, and then went and got myself Subway. Cassie got Taylen to buy her lunch.